FAMILY COMMUNICATION
Written by
M. Hidayatul Husna
E1D 008 041
MATARAM UNIVERSITY
TEACHER TRAINING AND EDUCATION FACULTY
ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
ACADEMIC YEAR 2011
Abstract.
This paper discussed about the communication among family’s members. In this paper writer analyze communication among family’s members based on the aspect of age, position in the family, power, intention and emotional state of the member. These factors will give great influence towards the communication among family’s members. Here writer will discuss how those factors above will influence the way of communication, diction, and intonation when one member communicates to other member.
FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE FAMILY COMMUNICATION
A. INTRODUCTION.
1. RATIONAL.
Family is the smallest part of a social community. It represents the social community in general. If in community there is a leader who has the highest position, in family there is the head of the family who also has the highest position in the family itself. A community also has members of community which gather and formed it. In family we also have members of family which is includes grandparents, father, mother and children. This is the general view of family as the smallest part of social community.
A family also has variations in the member of the family. Those variations in members are includes the gender of member, age, position in the family, and power in the family itself. These variation in status, age and gender of course influence the method and way of communication between the members of family. The communication between children is different from communication between children and parents. The communication between grandchildren and grandparents is also different from the others communication in the family itself.
As a part of social community of course there is an interaction between the members of family. As mention before, this communication among family members are unique and interesting to analyze.
2. PROBLEM.
The problems that writer what to focus discuss in this paper are:
a. Factors that influence the communication among family members such as: age, gender, position in family, and power.
b. In what situation these factors influence the communication in family.
c. Is there any situation or other factor that make those factors above do not work or influence the communication in family.
3. PURPOSE.
The purposes of this study are:
a. To find out what factors influence the communication among family members.
b. To find out in what situation these factors influence the communication in family.
c. To find out is there any situation or other factors that make those factors do not influence the communication in family.
B. THEORY.
1. KEY TERMS.
To be able to understand more about family communication, people need to understand the definition of each of these terms. However many people does not care about the definition of these terms anymore, since they believe they understand and know what does it mean. In order to understand more about the communication among family’s member, writer will define what is family and communication.
The definition of family is changing from the old time. In the old time people believe family is a group of people who bound by blood and biological relationship. This type of family also known as biological family. However now days expert believe that family is not only based on those terms. According to Noller and Fitzpatric family is a group of people who shared the same generic sense of house, group identity, experience and future. Based on this definition, family is not only strict at the definition as biological family anymore. This theory also influences the type and interaction among family. However in this paper writer will focus on the biological family definition, since the object of the observation of this project is a biological family.
Communication is the process of delivered massage from one person to other person. The person who delivered massage call as addresser or speaker, and person who receive massage call as addressee or listener. In the communication, the speaker will delivered massage by using symbol or language to refer to an object. The point in communication is how people can understand each other or understand the massage that convey in the communication itself.
Family communication environment refers to the two factors that communicant need to consider, they are inter-subjectivity and interactivity. Inter-subjectivity refers to the sharing subject of the conversation among communicant. In the communication, communicants must share the same subject or topic of the conversation. By sharing the same topic, communication will flows smoothly among the communicant. In the other hand if the inter-subjectivity is not form in a good way, the conversation will in trouble and could be become miscommunication. The inter-subjectivity in communication is also share the same theory as a part of Grice Maxim’s communication theory. Grice Maxim’s theory about relevance in communication also talks about how this part could build an effective communication. This paper will discuss the Grice Maxim’s relevance theory later on.
The other part of family communication environment is interactivity. Interactivity in family communication refers to the way in which family’s member maintain its own structure through pattern of the family member’s responses to each other communications act (Ascan F. Koerner & Marry Anne Fitzpatrick). In communication each communicant will give response to his or her partner act. This response of course should be relevant and make the other communicant feel comfortable and at ease with it.
2. COMMUNICATION SKILLS.
A communication although essential however it is not always easy to do. Every people have their own ability and capability in communicate with other people. Even in the family itself, communication is not that easy. Sometimes people try to hold what they want to say or talk too much and bother the other member. In family communication this is even more complicated than others, in some way.
To be able to become a good communicant, people need to have some skills related to communication. Communication involves some skills such as interpersonal skill, rapport, and active listening. The point of interpersonal skill is the ability to communicate with other people where the communicant put people at ease during the communication, how to respect people, and how to interrupt or turn taking in the communication. This skill is shown by how people address their partner, whether they use polite language or not to address others. Interpersonal skill also shown by how people respect’s other opinion, argument or theory. If someone could respect other’s people, even if they are not adopt the same tough, they may consider have good interpersonal skill.
Rapport is the ability to build a connection, relationship, and understanding with other people in communication. In order to do so, communicant need to show that they are open minded and respects other people opinion. This relationship also will be better if people could share the same interest or hobby. The last skill is listening skill. As communicators, someone not only should be able to speak but they also need to active listen to their partner.
As mention before family communication is rather complex compare to other conversation. Family has different way of communication, this part related to how the family identifies who is in charge of the family, age, power, emotional state, and position in the family. Communication between parents and children for example is different from the communication between children itself.
In their communication with children, parents need to control their emotion and watch their response to make children feel comfortable. To do so, parents need to use polite word and which could encourage children. In this case parents could reflect children’s word to ask them what the problem is. For example when children said “I hate going to school on Monday” parents should act by reply “sounds like your school is bored today?”. By doing so hopefully Beside the word, the intonation while talking is also needs an attention. While talking with children parents supposed to keep their intonation slow soft. This is important to encourage children to speak and bring front their opinion or argument about the topic. By doing so hopefully the communication will goes well.
Parents also need to listen to what their children talking about and response it well. Listening is very essential skill in communication, every people can speak well however only few people who are good listeners. To encourage children to speak make sure to listen to their problem. Asked them by using question which gives them chance to explained their problems or opinions instead of using question which is answered by “yes” or “no”.
C. DATA
1. SOURCE.
The source of the data that used in this paper is taken from the writer’s family. The writer used his own family as a data source because it is the nearest data source around the writer which is the writer could access. This family consists of five members, grandmother, father, mother, older son and younger son.
Although the data source is from writer’s own family, the data which are collected by writer are valid and dependable. This data is gathered from the family daily conversations which are recorded by the writer and the data also could involve the writer in it.
2. FIELD DATA.
The data for this assignment is taken by using note taking method. Writer writes the conversation among the family’s member that he heard. However not all of the conversation is used as the primary data for this assignment only few conversations which is suitable for the assignment is taken. Here are the conversations that used in this paper as primary data.
Ibuk : Ngkeh pade mangan wah masak jangan ne.
Bapak : Ok, mangan juluk the.
Ibuk : Husna, kuehan Papuq ne ngelor
Husna : Ngeh, (.9) Puq de ngelor
Papuq : Oq.
Papuk : Wah mek mangan.
Imam : wah.
Ibuq : Mbe Imam?
Papuq : Wah ne ongkat ne.
Imam : asalamualaikum, bukaan ku lawang.
Husna : aoq anteh mendak.
Imam : (10) Ndaq man lenting jak ku lalo malik
Imam : (10) lenting lawang ne.
Husna : de ngenteng ni?
Imam : aoq ne lek bale Banyot
Imam : temaq montorno
Husna : aok.
Imam : Belian te jaje alo.
Husna : Belian diriq baene.
Imam : Ante alo.
Husna : Mbe kepeng de mae?
Imam : Kepeng meq kadu.
Husna : Kepeng de sene, bareh aku meli.
Imam : Matong mae.
Husna : Ndarak kepeng ku.
Ibu : Jaq de jok mbe?
Bapak : Jaq Bapak ngeles lek sekolah.
Ibu : Burong de begawah?
Bapak : Jemaq wah, wah kedong te bejanji lek kanak-kanak no.
Ibu : Aoq wah.
Papuq : Ndak sedut kertasni, jemak te jualne.
Bapak : Aok la!
Papuq : Rubin sedut meq ye.
Bapak : La maseh lueq no!
Imam : Te lekaq, asalamualaikum.
Bapak : waalaikumsalam.
Imam : Buq, endeng kepeng te beli minyak
Ibuq : Ngeh, anteh mendak
Husna : Ape beli de ni?
Imam : Yakitate japan.
Husna : ngak ne baru?
Imam : Lueq sene.
Belian te es alo
Husna : embe kepengde?
Imam : kepeng mek kadu, wah ku mbeli komik aku.
3. SECONDARY DATA.
Writer used book referent and data from internet as secondary data to support the data and analysis of the data. The secondary data of this assignment is not only from formal books, report, journal and other formal literature. This data is also from informal literature such as magazine, article, newspaper etc.
D. DATA PRESENTATION AND ANALYSIS.
From the data that gathered by writer from family daily conversation, writer get process the conversation into language product in form of data transcription. From the transcription writer analyze the data to find out what factors influence the communication among family members. As the result of data analysis, writer found out some factors that influence the communication among family members. The factors that influence communication in family are:
a. Age.
Members of family have variation on age. The age of the member of a family vary from the oldest, grandparents, too the youngest, younger brother or sister. Age is the first factor which is influence communication in family.
In conversation among family members, the younger member will try to make their language more polite if they are communicate with the older member. The politeness will be shown in the word choice, intonation and the way to communicate. Consider this example (1.1).
Mother : Call grandma for dinner. (ngelor)
Husna : Ok, (.9) Granny time for dinner (ngelor).
This is the real transcription in Sasak language.
Mother : kuehan Papuq ne ngelor
Husna : Ngeh, (.9) Puq de ngelor
In the example above, the variation of age among the participant is like this; grandmother is the oldest and Husna is the youngest. In the first sentence mother use word dinner (in sasak language she used ngelor, the more polite language for older person) although she talked to her youngest son Husna. In this term mother used word dinner (ngelor) because she refer to grandmother who is her mother in law. So although mother talk to Husna she used polite language because indirectly she talk to older person, in this case grandmother.
So do Husna in the second sentence, when he reply’s to mother’s command he used word ngeh, which is the polite word to say ok in sasak language. This term as mention above is also because he is answering the older person (his mother). In this second sentence Husna also used expression dinner (ngelor) to inform grandmother that it is dinner time.
Even the pronoun choice that used to call the older person is different in Sasak language .Consider this second example (1.2) about word choice.
Imam : lock the door.
Husna : are you going to sleep at your friend house?
This is the transcription in Sasak language.
Imam : lenting lawang ne.
Husna : de ngenteng ni?
Look at the pronoun “de” that Husna used to refer to Imam, his older brother in the second sentence. Also consider the second sentence in the first example, in this sentence the pronoun “de” also appears. This pronoun is only used to call older person for example brother or grandmother. These examples show how age influences the word choice in family communication.
The intonation when family members talk to each other also influence by the age of the members. If a younger person talks to older person, they need to make their intonation no raising high. This is important since high intonation will make the younger person sound rude and un-polite.
Look at the example one, think about the sign of intonation that shown by the arrow. In sentence two Husna call his grandmother with falling intonation, this first intonation is to show that He is calling his grandmother for something. This falling intonation also shows that Husna is calling his grandmother from some place which is apart from grandmother place, kitchen for example. The second intonation also has the same role with the first falling intonation. Both of this intonation is to make the speech sounds more polite.
Think about this example below.
Husna : Grandma dinner
In this example the conversation uses raising intonation. If the speaker talks by using this intonation, it will make the speaker sounds angry and commanding to the listener. If a younger person uses this kind of intonation to address older person it will consider rude and very impolite. Even though they addresser use right and polite word to communicate with the addressee, it will still consider impolite.
The way or method of conversation also influence by age. Younger person need to use method which is considers as polite way to talk. These manners are includes nonverbal language such as eye contact, gesture, also the space to talk. Gesture that used to call or invite older person is different from the way to invite equal age person. The space is also must close or at least directly to the person.
All of those examples above show how age influence the communication from younger person to older person in a sasak family. However age does not influence communication from older person to younger person. In the family that takes as sample of this study does not show any influence of the age towards communication between the older to younger person. Consider this example below. Example (1.3)
Grandmother : have you eat?
Imam : yes I have
Sasak translation.
Papuk : wah mek mangan.
Imam : wah.
From that example above, we can see that grandmother does not need to use polite language to communicate with her grandson Imam. In the example grandmother uses word “mek” and “mangan” instead of “side” and “ngelor”. This is because from age point of view grandmother is older than Imam.
b. Position in family.
The classification of family’s member also falls into the position inside the family. This position divided into elder or grandparents, parents such as mother and father, and the last one is children, daughter and son.
Position in the family also influences the way to communicate among family members. Even sometime this position could ignore the age influence in communication. This is shown in this example (2.1).
Imam : bring in the bike.
Husna : ok.
Sasak translation.
Imam : temaq montorno
Husna : aok.
In that conversation if we consider it from the age Husna use impolite language to reply Imam’s command, Instead of using word “ngeh”, he uses “aok”. This is because based on the position in family, Imam and Husna is in the equal position, children of the family.
Let’s look back to the second example in the age explanation where Imam and Husna have a conversation. In that conversation Husna use polite word towards Imam by calling him side “de”. Compare to the example 2.1 above, he used less polite language towards his brother. This is because in the example 2.1 Imam giving direct order to Husna, which is according to his position in the family is not appropriate, unless if he use word please. Imam and Husna both have that is why both of them cannot give order to each other, it is better if they are asking for help.
While in example 1.2 Husna use word de because he is asking question and in this position Husna put himself in the position someone who need something, at this point is information. That is why he used polite language beside because of the age variable influence.
Here is other example to make the explanation about influence of position in family toward the communication among family’s members. Example (2.2)
Imam : Buy me some snack.
Husna : You can go by your self
Translation in Sasak language.
Imam : Belian te jaje alo.
Husna : Belian diriq baene.
In this conversation shown that position in family does not only change the word choice but also change the intonation when someone talks. As shown in example 2.2 when Imam asked Husna to buy some snack Husna replies with little bit higher intonation than usual. That example shown that the intonation is changing into the impolite state, where he should not used it.
However the position in family only influences communication among children it does not influence the communication between parents. Consider this example below (2.3)
Mother : Where are you going?
Father : I am going to give course at school.
Sasak translation.
Ibu : Jaq de jok mbe?
Bapak : Jaq Bapak ngeles lek sekolah.
As shown in example 2.3, mother used polite language “de” to address father although they have the same position as parent. The intonation that used by mother is also appropriate with the question sentence and politeness. Unlike children who still use some impolite language and manner in their communication, parents used polite language and manner in their communication. This is shown that communication between mother and father does not influence by position in family.
c. Power.
According to power point of view, a father has bigger power than the other family’s members. Father has the biggest power in family because he is the leader of the family. This power of course influences the communication in family itself, especially communication which involve the superior person in the family.
Consider this example (3.1) below
Grandmother : Don’t burn those papers, I will sell it tomorrow
Father : I know it.!
Grandmother : You burn it yesterday
Father : There are plenty of them!
Here is the Sasak translation.
Papuq : Ndak sedut kertasni, jemak te jualne.
Bapaq : Aok la!
Papuq : Rubin sedut meq ye.
Bapak : La maseh lueq no!
According to age and position in family, grandmother is the most superior people in the family, since she is the oldest family’s member and mother of father itself. However in that example father use less polite language to communicate with grandmother. As shown in that example father used word “aok” rather than “ngeh” which is more polite than the first one. Not only the word choice but also the intonation that is used is also high and rather impolite to use to someone older. In that conversation father used high intonation.
d. Intention.
The next aspect that influences the communication among family’s member is the intention in the conversation. When someone has intention that he or she after, they will use more polite language, intonation and watch the manner of communication to get it. This intention could be asking for help, or other thing. Look at the example (4.1) below.
Imam : Mom, I need some money to buy gaso.
Mother : Ok, wait a minute.
Here is the original sasak translation.
Imam : Buk, endeng kepeng mae te beli minyako.
Ibuk : Ngeh. Anteh mendak.
From the example above, show that Imam used soft pronunciation when he ask some money. This is represents by symbol o in the end of the sentence. Not only that, in that conversation imam also used low intonation in it. Some people could miss it with the respect because of age and mother position in the family. However he used that manner in conversation to gain what he desire to, in this case to get some money for gas.
Some conversation could influence by many aspects, in the example above the conversation is not only influence by intention only but also by age, and position in the family. However the stress point is in the influence of intention, than the others variables. Consider the next example to make it clear. Example 4.2
Imam : Buy me some snack.
Husna : You can go by your self
Translation in Sasak language.
Imam : Belian te jaje alo.
Husna : Belian diriq baene.
In that example above both of the communicators are in the same position in the family, as children. Based on the aged Imam is older than Husna, however Imam used low intonation which make his sentence sounds more polite. Even though he does not use any word which could make his request sounds more polite, the intonation that he used is enough.
Unlike the previous example in this example based on the age and position in family Imam does not need to used polite word to communicate with his younger brother Husna. However because Imam has intention that he wants to gain in this conversation, that is why he chose to use polite intonation for request. The low intonation is symbolized by arrow ( ).
e. Emotional State
The next variable that influences the communication among family’s members is the emotional state of the family’s member. The emotions that can be occur in the family such as happiness, sadness, angry, upset, satisfaction and other human emotion. Each of emotional state could cause different way of communication among family’s members.
Consider this example 5.1 below.
Imam : Buy me some ice.
Husna : Where is your money.?
Here is the sasak translation.
Imam : Belian te es alo
Husna : Mbe kepeng de?.
This conversation happened after Imam come home and bought new comic books, which make Husna fell happy. If we compare to the example 2.2 when Imam ask Husna to buy snack for him, Husna rejected his command. However in this example Husna’s reply indicates that he wants to buy an ice for Imam. This reply is very contrast compared with the example 2.2.
In this example Husna does use any polite language to imam. As show in that example Husna use polite language “de” to address Imam. This part shows that he respects his brother. However pronoun “de” is not enough to indicate how emotional state influences family conversation. This is because Husna also used pronoun “de” to address Imam even when he is angry or rejecting Imam’s order. However we know that Husna try to be more polite in this conversation from his intonation.
Husna’s intonation is polite enough to reply a request from someone older than him. As shown in the conversation above instead of using high intonation as in example 2.2, Husna used falling intonation to reply the order. This intonation is shown by the arrow ( ). This example show that emotional state of the communicant is also influences the way of communication, even sometimes it has bigger influence than position in family.
E. CONCLUSION.
Family as a smallest part of a social group in society is becomes the good representative of the social group in terms of the communication. Communication among family member also represents the communication in society.
Family is a group of people who are connected by biological relationship who are share the same vision of experience and future. In the other hand communication is the process of delivering massages from a person to other person. The person who delivered massages called as addresser and the person who receives massage called as addressee.
The skills that required in terms to build an effective communication are: interpersonal skill, rapport, and active listening. Interpersonal skill is the ability to make communication partner feel at ease and feel comfortable to communicate. Rapport is the ability to build a good connection and relationship between or among communicant. The last skill is listening skill, this is the most important skill in communication.
The communication among family’s member itself is influence by some aspect such as: age, power, position inside the family emotional state, and intention. Each of these factors influence one after another. Even sometimes a communication can be influence by two or more factors at the same time. These factors also influence each other one factor could im-power the other factor.
These factors of family communication influence the communication in the family in terms of word choice, intonation and manner of communication. Those factors of family communication could turn the word choice from polite word to rude word or the as backward. Intonation while communicating is also influence by these five factors. Each of these factors could make the intonation of a communicant raise or down. The last communication ability that influence by communication factors is manner of communication.
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